HEADLINES 2027

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the world's seventh largest country, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

France appeals for global help after being invaded by Jamaica

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.