Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the world's seventh largest country, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
France appeals for global help after being invaded by Jamaica
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Effective Communication
What is Effective Communication ??
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."
Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."
Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
The wish list!!
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ''You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?''
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. ''One day,'' he begins, ''I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.''
''No shit?'' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
''Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.'''
''Keep going!''
I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, ''You now have three wishes.''
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ''I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger. '' She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, ''What will be your second wish?''
''What next?'' begged the bartender.
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ''I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.'' She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ''You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?''
I looked at her and replied, ''How 'bout a little head?''
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. ''One day,'' he begins, ''I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.''
''No shit?'' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
''Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.'''
''Keep going!''
I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, ''You now have three wishes.''
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ''I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger. '' She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, ''What will be your second wish?''
''What next?'' begged the bartender.
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ''I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.'' She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ''You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?''
I looked at her and replied, ''How 'bout a little head?''
MEDICAL TERMS
When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised, no rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians stated
they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists each yelled, "Over my dead body," while the Pediatricians said, "Grow
up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Surgeons decided to wash their hands off the whole thing and the Radiologists could see right through it!
The Physicians thought it was a bitter pill to swallow; and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say, 'no.'
The dentists clenched their teeth and showed their disapproval.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.
The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians stated
they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists each yelled, "Over my dead body," while the Pediatricians said, "Grow
up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Surgeons decided to wash their hands off the whole thing and the Radiologists could see right through it!
The Physicians thought it was a bitter pill to swallow; and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say, 'no.'
The dentists clenched their teeth and showed their disapproval.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.
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